Maintaining your authenticity

Studies have shown that being authentic improves our psychological well-being, which affects our mind and body. It reduces emotional discomfort between our true selves and the person we project in public. I meet people who, on the outside, look like everything worked out well, but they still cannot find happiness. Most of the time, they cannot figure out who they are and their purpose. They just follow the path that society chooses for them. This disharmony between what they are born to do and what they do daily brings dissatisfaction and confusion. We will always be someone we are not until we figure out who we are. And for this, we need to silence the outer world so we can hear our inner world, our soul. We all come to this world with a mission, and in the course of our lives, we deviate from it. Our soul feels betrayed, and we feel it. We try to fit in for so long that we forget who we are. Rediscovering our true selves and our inner light will take time.

Restoring authenticity

1.      Traveling through memory line.

Return to your childhood memories episodes when you stop being authentic to accommodate expectations. Every child wants to please their parents and be loved, even if it requires not doing what our true self wants.

By seeing the reaction of our parents or community, we learn to question our body's wisdom, that someone outside of our body knows better what our body wants or needs. We learn to question our intuition, desires, and what our true selves want to do or be.

How many times, by saying "yes" to someone, do we say 'no" to ourselves?

2.      Open dialog between yourself and your true self.

When we realize that there is a discrepancy between our Authentic Self and our Current Self, it is time to have a dialog between them. In some literature, the words "Adaptive Self" are used to describe our Current Self. The word adaptive shows that we are acting in public to fit in better. It is forced adaptation.

This conversation can be done as part of meditation or journey practice. It is not about discarding one part and embracing the other. It is about listening with appreciation to both sides. The Adaptive Self helps us survive and navigate through different circumstances, and the Authentic Self provides guidelines and directions in our personal journey. We can learn a lot about ourselves when we sit and have this honest conversation.

3.      Show appreciation  

For many years, we acted on behalf of our Adaptive Self, empowering it in our major decisions. It will take time for our Authentic Self to obtain the same level of power and influence in the decision-making process. Our Authentic Self is shy and quiet; only love and compassion for ourselves and others will empower it.

When we empower our Authentic Self and are attentive to it, we can encounter beliefs, emotions, or thoughts that don't represent our Authentic Self. This brings us to the next step of our development - letting go. There are many techniques of letting go that we can implement. There is no "one size fits all" approach. We need to find what works for us.

Maintaining Authenticity

1.      Make all the decisions conscious decisions

We make multiple decisions every day. The question is, do we make these decisions as automatic responses, caught in the moment, or are they conscious? We need to learn to stop, to breathe, to take pause. Learn to respond, not react.

2.      Find and keep our authentic way

People who love and care about us will offer different advice, trying to improve or help us personally or professionally. Before implementing them, always check if they are aligned with our Authentic Self.

It is very beneficial to stop and examine our current activities and feelings. Take a moment and listen to your Authentic Self. Are we following our Authentic Self or our Adaptive Self? This monitoring is not about analyzing every step - it is about listening to our heart.

3.      Have an open mind

This is not a counterintuitive idea. By being open to others' ideas, opinions, and experiences, we can better understand ourselves and discover the roots of our prejudices and belief systems. By opening ourselves to knowledge, we define our Authentic Selves.

Final thoughts

Everything in life constantly changes. The core of most Eastern philosophies is accepting changes, letting go, and maintaining inner peace. Knowledge of oneself gives us strength and direction.  

Pay close attention to your intuition. People describe it using different names, like a gut feeling, inner guidance, soul whisper, or signals from universal consciousness, but it is also how our Authentic Self communicates with us. Remember that our analytic mind and adaptive self will always try to dismiss this voice.

Only by listening to our Authentic Self can we discover our purpose; they are closely linked. Both are the main factors for inner happiness. Long-lasting satisfaction and happiness can only come from inside us. When they are created inside, they cannot be affected by outside factors.  

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With love, 

Roman  

April 1, 2025